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siblings, by telephone for a couple of years before Olivia gave up speaking to them at all. In the meantime, Olivia made friends with a bright old lady across the road and started her local community council, in an effort to protect the shabby yet beautiful Victorian mansions. Then, the old lady contracted lung cancer. It was to be her last Christmas. Olivia phoned her brother. Her father had died the year before, mercifully after her mother's stroke, and since her brother had lied about staying with him in hospital, he had died alone.

  "Can you take mum for Christmas lunch?"

  "No."

  "My best friend is dying. It's her last Christmas."

  "You can see her another time. I will not be blackmailed into giving mother Christmas lunch." This was the only conversation they had had since her father had died.

  "That is rather the point. I can't see her another time. She will be dead another time."

  "No."

  "I think that is our relationship well and truly over, Kevin. I give mother lunch every day, and nobody asks me to."

  "Things would be a lot better if you didn't exist."

  Olivia had now given up her child, her postgraduate study and any chance of a decent job with her education for her family. This was depressing in the extreme. She spent that Christmas toing and froing across the road, spending it as best she could with the two old ladies.

  She had to face the fact that her family were scum. She got on with the house repairs, which were intermittent since some jobs, like the rewiring, had to be done before more obvious jobs, like the new heating system and decorating. In the meantime she got the structural work done and painted everything white, working in the night between part-time jobs.

  Two years later, Olivia's mother told her that she was spending Christmas with her, rather than her brother, at home. On Christmas morning, however, it transpired that she had been told to lie.

  "You are to stay here, and I am going to Kevin's. I lied, isn't that funny?" her mother looked mischievous and stuck her nose in the air. Olivia was not happy.

  "We will be back at four, or maybe nine, depending on how we feel."

  Olivia waited in until four, then boiling with misery and fury, locked up the house and went to the beach, thirty miles away, to decide if she really wanted to sacrifice any more of her time for people like this. She returned before nine, to find that her mother was not being returned. She called the social work department, who had recently given her a week off the care of her mother. They advised her to call the police.

  The social work department, rather than return Olivia's mother, put her into emergency care whilst they tried to make a case to take her property from her, as is the wont of Conservative care home owners.

  Olivia had spent her two hours off per week clay pigeon shooting in an effort to reduce the depression of her friend, who liked shooting. This was used in a letter by Alice, who insisted that Olivia kept guns and ammunition under the house and that there was furniture stacked up the walls. Given the size of the house, any sane person would have seen that this would have taken more money than Olivia could possibly generate whilst providing several years of twenty four hour care for her mother. Not the social worker, who appeared to think she was on commission from the local council. Alice's letter indicated that she had, in part, been told what to say, and for the rest had simply made it up. Olivia's brother, who accompanied Alice to the various people they spread this story to, was careful to put nothing in writing. He was saving Olivia up for later. He would see how she responded, and calculate his plan of attack later.

  They all claimed that Olivia was selfish and a liar, despite the considerable evidence to the contrary, and relied on their respectable appearance to insist that they were to split the money, Olivia was to move out and that their mother would then reside in a care home, courtesy of the taxpayer under Scottish rules. The social worker did not tell them that this was illegal, preferring to gather evidence to be used on behalf of the council.

  The gross result of this entire episode was that Lucy showed herself to be a pathological bully, Kevin narrowly escaped a fraud charge, since he had been falsely informing anyone that would listen that he was power of attorney, and Alice's proudest moment was when she asked the social work department why she should plug in a hoover for her own mother, and why Olivia should have somewhere to live?

  They attempted to challenge their mother's capacity, after claiming that her wish was to give her money to them. Such lovely, respectable people. Olivia guessed that her brother had thought that all three sisters were so stupid that they would fight so much that they would not notice losing a six figure sum by not repairing the house that his friend wanted to buy at a rock bottom price. Unfortunately, he had not reckoned on Olivia showing them up for what they were, simply by taking care of her parents and saying as little as possible.

  The net result was that Olivia no longer trusted either them or the social work department, and secured their inheritance for them from the local council as best she could. Lucy could not stop herself with her continuous vendetta, and attempted various other methods of bullying, but, since Olivia would not speak to her, it was not very effective and got her into a spot of trouble with the police. Alice feigned concern by visiting her mother on the days she could not raise the wit to invent magical events in the city to prevent her driving her car. (if these events had had booze labels, it would have been more accurate)

  It was not until the house was complete that they attempted another coup, by making their mother ill and then reporting it as if she had been at home at the time. Olivia was now aware she was dealing with people who were not only dishonest, but severely dysfunctional. She had many rows with her mother over this, but her mother was unmoved.

  "You don't matter. I'm retired from parenting."

  Since, thanks to her charming family, Olivia was to have no children, was not going to have the career she had worked for and would have little in the way of pension to look after herself, she was not impressed by this response. Nevertheless, she continued to care for her mother with no help due to the risk of losing the house, took her to Europe, bickered with her when she felt the need, and maintained her health as best she could.

  Now the ugly sisters were retired, doing nothing. Still she was to have no help, never to get out, and to be criticised at every opportunity. They took great pleasure in announcing their holidays and family events such as weddings that Olivia could not be invited to because she wasn't one of the family.

  Olivia switched off her mobile, and bought a pay as you go. Her health had suffered from the stress, and her friends had died away, since visiting her involved helping her with the gardens, or being involved in her crazy art projects.

  Olivia, although internally kicking and screaming, gradually came to accept that her life was over. Her art projects were usually gifts to other people, and so she continued with those, carefully masking her identity to protect them from her family. They went largely unappreciated as usual. The cats enjoyed them, since they involved a lot of wool. Olivia knew that her family would probably kill her eventually, since they had tried everything else. In the meantime, she worked.

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